she works hard for the money.

Well guys, I survived.  And it wasn't THAT bad.  (For those of you who are a little out of the loop, my last post was me complaining about going back to work.  I'm just keeping it real, here.)  I think a few things helped make my transition back into work easier...first and most importantly, I had friends and family members lifting me, Brandon, and Lucas up in prayer yesterday.  Let me tell y'all, I felt it.  Granted, I did whine and complain throughout the day about missing my little boy, but I felt at peace with being back at the hospital.  Did I enjoy being at work?  I wouldn't go so far as to say that...but seriously, the few days leading up to my first shift back, I had these panicky feelings.  I felt guilty about leaving Lucas and was having fears of being labeled a 'bad mom' for going back to work.  Brandon is an amazing dad, don't get me wrong, but I worried about him staying sane while I was gone for 14 hours.  But all of those feelings were suppressed and tucked away when it came time for me to walk out of the door yesterday morning.  So to all of you who prayed for us, THANK YOU.  Secondly, I got a good night of sleep the night before.  Lucas had a great night, I think he knew his mama needed it more than he did.  Also, the girls at work went out of their way to welcome me back.  They made signs and hung them around the unit that said things like "welcome back mama Ash!" and "we missed you" and things like that.  Sweet?  Yes.  My patients were pretty delightful, too, and the day wasn't too crazy.  I had time to pump and eat and things like that.  And, everyone at work put up with me obsessively showing pictures of our little ham.  I was "that mom" and beamed with pride with every picture I showed. Finally, Brandon survived and doesn't seem too traumatized!  I only called twice and texted once (requesting a picture) while I was gone.  I'd say that's pretty good, right?  He sounded very calm and collected when I talked to him, and the picture he sent me was of Lucas peacefully napping in his bouncy seat.  Do I think that's really how the day went?  Not a chance.  Brandon was exhausted when I got home, but held it together for me and acted like it was the best day in the world.  I walked in the door and he was grilling burgers on the back porch with Lucas strapped to him in the Moby wrap, already in his jammies.  At this point, it was 8:00 which is time time for his last feeding and bedtime, so little man was at his breaking point.  I ran upstairs and jumped in the shower to wash off the hospital kiddie germs, then grabbed my sweet boy to kiss him.  When I kissed his cute little head, he smelled like hamburgers from being by the grill.  I had to laugh.  I come home and find my sweet boy smelling like straight up beef after a day with daddy.  Appropriate, isn't it?  So then we went upstairs, he ate, and went right to sleep.  WHEW.  What a day for everyone.