It's no big newsflash that we are living in a really messed up world. The past year has been plagued with tragedy after tragedy. I remember back in December holding on tight to my boy as I watched the news coverage on the shootings at Sandy Hook, letting the tears flow and trying not to throw up. Most recently, the Boston bombing was all too big of a reminder that life can drastically change at the drop of a backpack, especially seeing the picture of the 8 year old little boy watching the marathon with eyes of wonder and amazement, now knowing that his life would be cut too short.
We live in a messed up world. And I feel the weight of this messed up world on my shoulders as we try to figure out how to raise a little boy up to
be the good. I am so thankful for now that Lucas doesn't know how bad the world is yet. He just wants to watch trucks go by and give kisses and get dirty. He doesn't know about evil yet, but he does know about love. We tell him we love him and people are sweet to him and we pray that he will know Jesus quickly. After the Boston bombing, I couldn't seem to turn the news off...until I saw Lucas staring at the television screen that was plastered with the face of one of the bombers. I couldn't get to the remote fast enough to turn it off, because I just couldn't let him stare into the face of evil. Being a mom in the midst of all of this allows an anxiety that I didn't know existed to creep into my heart. Glimpses of a world that is scary and unpredictable makes me want to bubble wrap our little life here and tune out all news of evil.
Please don't get me wrong, I am
so thankful to be a mom. But the news of the world is hitting me a little bit differently every day as Lucas grows up. Do I want to or know how to have hard conversations with him on why bad things happen? Absolutely not. But what I do know is that one day everything sad will become untrue. I'm thankful for that promise and praying that Jesus comes quickly. Because this is hard stuff. Not only global tragedies, but the tragedies that are infecting the lives of all of us every day.
I saw a blog post on honoring all mothers this Mother's Day and it has really stuck with me. Here is an excerpt that brought me to tears:
To those who gave birth this year to their first child—we celebrate with you
To those who lost a child this year – we mourn with you
To those who are in the trenches with little ones every day and wear the badge of food stains – we appreciate you
To those who experienced loss this year through miscarriage, failed adoptions, or running away—we mourn with you
To those who walk the hard path of infertility, fraught with pokes, prods, tears, and disappointment – we walk with you. Forgive us when we say foolish things. We don’t mean to make this harder than it is.
To those who are foster moms, mentor moms, and spiritual moms – we need you
To those who have warm and close relationships with your children – we celebrate with you
To those who have disappointment, heart ache, and distance with your children – we sit with you
To those who lost their mothers this year – we grieve with you
To those who experienced abuse at the hands of your own mother – we acknowledge your experience
To those who lived through driving tests, medical tests, and the overall testing of motherhood – we are better for having you in our midst
To those who have aborted children, we remember them and you on this day
To those who are single and long to be married and mothering your own children, we mourn that life has not turned out the way you longed for it to be
To those who step-parent, we walk with you on these complex paths
To those who envisioned lavishing love on grandchildren, yet that dream is not to be, we grieve with you
To those who will have emptier nests in the upcoming year – we grieve and rejoice with you
And to those who are pregnant with new life, both expected and surprising –we anticipate with you
This Mother’s Day, we walk with you. Mothering is not for the faint of heart and we have real warriors in our midst. We remember you.
If you want to see the full blog post, check
here.
Mother's Day isn't just about people like me, and it's so so important to remember that. I am SO thankful to be a mom. But I must remind myself to be full of grace and love for those around me who are experiencing Mother's Day a little bit differently.
So we really did have a great Mother's Day weekend that was spent in Asheville with family. We drove back home on Sunday, and Brandon and Lucas gave me my Mother's Day gifts after we got home. Lucas happened to be in the bathtub when the gifting occurred, so all of our pictures together are with him naked. Typical.
My sweet boys made me a coffee mug that has "I love my mom" on one side and Lucas's hand print on the other side. Knowing that Brandon went to the effort to paint a coffee mug and wrestle a 1 year old for handprints does my heart good. They also gave me the cutest frame with a picture of me, Brandon, and Lucas that says "mom + dad = me"
For our moms (Nana and MiMi) we got them their favorite lotion from Aveda and Brandon crafted them the cutest little flower pots. Yes, Brandon crafted. All by himself! And he was SO proud of it. I worked a bad stretch of days before we left town so I left it up to the boys to be in charge of the handmade gifts for our moms. He came up with the idea of putting Lucas's hand print on a flower pot and making him have a 'green thumb.' Get it? Brandon also made sure to point out that he painted the rim at the top of the pot with chalkboard paint because "it's trendy" and he wrote MiMi and Nana's names on the rim in chalk. Bless his heart. I can't get the picture of both of the pots to upload, so here's a picturee of MiMi's that she posted online:
I am beyond blessed to have an amazing mom and mother-in-law who have both loved us so well and shown us what Godly mothering looks like. We love you both! And I am also so blessed to be a mom to the best little boy. Love you, little man.
