2 week stats

Guess who's officially a chunk?

This guy!!!

We just got back from the pediatrician's office for Lucas's 2 week checkup, and he proved to us that his speed-nursing is getting the job done.

He measured in at 10lbs 1 oz. putting him in the 95th percentile for weight, and 90th percentile for head circumference at 38.5cm. Big boy!

In other bragging news, he is super strong already. I promise you that he was lifting his head at the first pediatricians appointment, at 3 days old. That's the honest truth! We have pictures to prove it, because that is not normal for a newborn. He showed off again today and lifted his head and chest when he was on his tummy, which he has been doing now for a week.

Other random facts about our little (big) guy:

*He has long outgrown size newborn diapers. We had to upgrade to a size one when he was about 5 days old after going through multiple outfits a day. Newborns just weren't cutting it.

*He loves tummy time

*I mentioned speed-nursing...10 minutes? Done. What a blessing!

*He hates being naked, especially when it comes to bath time. And by hate, I mean HATE. He gets that lip-quivering cry which is so pitiful, but so adorable we can't help but laugh every time.

*I am surprised he hasn't peed on more things. We have been lucky to avoid sprays during diaper changes (am I jinxing us right now?) minus one incident when Brandon was changing him in the pack-and-play and he peed on the subwoofer. Oops.

*He continues to be SO alert. When he is awake, he is looking around and taking in the world. It's so fun. He stares so intently at our faces and out the window, you can see his little wheels turning.

*Lexi is very protective of him. She acts pretty concerned when he cries, wanting to go up to him and sniff him to make sure he is okay. She also gives him tiny little kisses when we let her, and she likes to be next to him. It's pretty cute, as evidenced by the pictures below.

*He can burp and toot with the best of any grown man. I think he might get that from the Shirley side of my family.....

*His hair still is naturally growing in a mohawk. Rock star.

We continue to be amazed at how quickly he is changing. It's fun to see him developing and growing, but I still tell him not to grow up too fast. I try my hardest to savor every sweet moment, I don't want it to go by too quickly.

wise words.

At my baby shower in Asheville, Farrin put together the most incredible group of quotes. They included quotes about childbirth, powerful women, scripture, and encouragement. There are tons of them, cut into strips and bound together on a ring. The women at the shower, many of them already mothers and all of whom I respect deeply, had the opportunity to look through the quotes and pick out ones that speak to them. Everyone there wrote personalized messages along with them. During labor, my mom read some of these notes and quotes to me. The words brought comfort and encouragement to me during such a difficult time. I know that many of these women lifted me up in prayer throughout my pregnancy and delivery, and still do today. I am so blessed. I want to share a few of my favorites:

"Just as a woman's heart knows how and when to pump, her lungs to inhale, and her hand to pull back from fire, so she knows when and how to give birth." -Virginia Di Orio

{This is so true, as evidenced by the truth that my mom said over and over, "you will just know."}

"'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the LORD, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'" -Jeremiah 29:11

{AMEN. This verse resonated in my head during the last parts of labor. I am not alone in this.}

"Courage allows the successful woman to fail - and to learn powerful lessons from the failure - so that in the end, she didn't fail at all." -Maya Angelou

{Childbirth calls for courage. And my thoughts of 'failure' turned out to not be failure at all. See the 'welcoming Lucas' post :)}

"I praise You because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Your works are wonderful, I know that full well." -Psalm 139:14

{I think of our sweet boy every time I read this verse. It is written above his crib, so beautiful.}

"We are made to do this work and it's not easy...I would say that pain is part of the glory, or the tremendous mystery of life. And that if anything, it's a kind of privilege to stand so close to such an incredible miracle." -Simone in Klasson

"We have a secret in our culture, and it's not that birth is painful. It's that women are strong." -Laura Stavoe Harm

"Whenever a woman gives birth to a child, she remembers the hard work no more, for the joy that a child has been born into the world." -John 16:21

I can't tell you how much these words meant to me. Farrin also put together a necklace for me. They are my birth beads. Smooth and cool, a reminder to relax. The beads were special though, because at the shower, each woman there picked out a bead and threaded it on the necklace, speaking words of wisdom and encouragement to me as they did this. In the end, I had a completed necklace, full of beautiful beads that were a tangible reminder to me of all of the people that I have supporting me, encouraging me, and wishing me strength. This is called a Blessingway and comes from an ancient Navajo tradition. Pretty amazing, isn't it? I wore these beads during my maternity pictures, and brought them to the hospital with me when I went into labor. Farrin, thank you isn't enough. It is so special to me!

Welcoming Lucas

Remember our agreement? This is our labor and delivery story. If you want to stop reading at anytime, I won't be offended. And just a warning, this is going to be another long post. It's just how I do things. Here we go.

We arrived to the hospital around 4:30 a.m. Brandon and I get dropped off at the front door and head up to L&D. We get checked in and are brought back to triage. Kathy is the midwife on call at the time, and she meets us in triage to see what's going on. The first thing she said to me was, "I was expecting to see you a lot earlier!" I kindly reminded her that I thought laboring in the hospital sounded miserable, so we stayed at home as long as we could. She examined me and before saying anything else, she asked us, "how dilated do you think you are, and how dilated do you want to be?" Afraid to honestly answer the second half of the question, I simply said "I think I'm a 3 or a 4..." She smiled and said, "How about a 7?" Both mine and Brandon's jaws hit the floor and I'm pretty sure I almost peed on myself out of excitement when she said that. We made her repeat herself to make sure we weren't hallucinating, and she assured us I was 7cm and 100% effaced. I heard the hallelujah chorus right there in the triage room. I hardly had time to process the fact that we had labored at home until I was 7cm before my nurse for the remainder of the night came to take us to our room and get us settled. My mom and Farrin met us in the labor room and were both giddy with excitement at how far along I was. The nurse was wonderful, started up the big jacuzzi tub, and helped me in to try to help get through the contractions. I chose not to have an IV put in, which allowed me to relax as best as I could in the tub and have some motivation to keep myself hydrated. I was so excited. I was so proud. I was sure we would have this baby by 9:00 a.m. Bring it on, labor!

Contractions picked up in frequency and intensity. I stayed in the tub for almost 2 hours. I got out around 7:00 a.m., right at shift change. When my new nurse came in, I got out of the tub and heard and felt a little splash. I said, "I think my water just broke?" It wasn't dramatic, it wasn't even a lot, and no one really was sure at first. We thought maybe it was just water from the tub, until more and more came out. My water broke! It was clear and perfect looking. The new midwife for the day came in to check me, and it's Nancy. Remember? She is the one who saw me at my due date appointment. I am embarassed to say that my first reaction was disappointment, because like I said, she is the midwife that I felt least connected to. But there was nothing I could do about it, and it turns out that throughout my labor I couldn't have asked for anyone better. She was incredible, and I will forever be excited if she is the midwife to walk in the room. So Nancy checked me around 7:30 a.m. and I was 8cm. Progress! At this point, I entered the lovely period of transition. For all of you mamas out there, you know how much weight the word 'transition' holds. It's intense. Contractions ramped up again, even though I didn't think it was possible. They were closer together, making it absolutely necessary for me to focus on breathing and changing positions. But I knew we were making progress, and I was excited. At this point, finding a comfortable position is impossible. I want this baby OUT, and I want him out now. Around 9:00 a.m., Nancy comes in to check me after I tell the nurse that I want to push. Verdict: 9 cm. No pushing yet. So we continued to labor. I am exhausted, and this is hard work. Shortly after 9:30, meconium appeared in my amniotic fluid. That was very disheartening for me to see, since I knew that immediatly changed things once the baby came out. This means that I now have to have closer (but still intermittent) fetal monitoring. This made it tough since I was still getting in and out of the tub. The nurse had to listen to the baby's heart rate through contractions, which was awkward and uncomfortable. Lucas was having some normal decels with contractions, but at this point nothing to be too concerned about. I knew that meconium meant that the NICU team would be present when Lucas was born. Selfishly, I feared who would be on the NICU team, knowing that the residents that I work with in pediatrics rotate through the NICU. I became self conscious, thinking "what if I know someone on the team and then have to work with them later? That would be so awkward." It's amazing that silly selfish thoughts like that can creep into your mind during such a difficult and should-be selfless time. Meconium also meant that Brandon couldn't cut the umbilical cord, we couldn't have delayed clamping of the cord, and the baby would have to go immediately to the warmer to the awaiting NICU team instead of right to me. I was disappointed. I was frustrated. This is NOT how I was expecting this to go. Nancy checked me again, I was still 9 cm. And again, still 9 cm. And I heard her one last time after I kept insisting that I NEEDED to push and get this baby out, "I'm so sorry, Ashley. You are still a 9. There hasn't been much change." How is this possible? I have been stuck at 9 cm for hours! Do you know how close that is? What's one more centimeter, is that too much to ask? With each check, I prayed outloud. Please, please, please, please, please. I had reached my breaking point. I was without sleep for the past two nights. I had been laboring since 4:00 p.m. the previous day. I had been in transition now for going on 4 hours. I was exhausted. I was desparate. I said to her, "you have GOT to get this baby out NOW."

I don't think that I will ever forget the look in the eyes of everyone in the room. Brandon, Mom, Farrin, and Nancy all looked at me in a way that let me know something had to change. Lucas was showing changes, letting us know that he wasn't a big fan of this long and hard labor. Between the meconium and the decels, we knew he was getting antsy to come out too. I looked at Nancy and asked her what we needed to do to get this baby out. With a sincere kindness and empathy in her eyes and voice, she told me that at this point our best options were either an IV with fentanyl to help my body relax in between contractions, or an epidural. Either way, she knew I needed something to help my body relax and dilate the last tiny centimeter in order to push Lucas out. The unspoken words from her and my nurse told me this needed to happen quickly or we would be headed for a C-section. As soon as she spoke the word 'epidural' I immediately felt defeated. My plan was for a natural childbirth. My plan was to have this baby 3 hours ago at this point. My plan was for clear amniotic fluid, and absolutely no meconium or NICU team. My plan was for Brandon to cut the cord and for us to cry happy tears as our son was given directly to us. An epidural was never in this plan. I still didn't even have an IV at this point. As all of these thoughts were going through my head, I knew I was completely incapable of making a decision on what to do. I looked at Brandon and my mom and pleaded for an answer. Someone needed to tell me what to do. I looked at my mom, who was holding back tears. She couldn't give me an answer. She's my mom, also a nurse, and our incredibly experienced labor coach. She looked at Nancy, our dedicated midwife who had been by our side the entire time. Nancy, knowing none of us could make this decision, said "Do you want to know what I would do if you were my daughter?" Choking back tears, we all shook our heads 'yes.' She said, "you need an epidural." I closed my eyes, fought back feelings of frustration and defeat, and told her to do whatever she had to do to get this baby out safely. Healthy baby, healthy mommy is their motto after all. I kept praying, please don't let me have a C-section. Please let me deliver this baby. Please take away the feelings of defeat and disappointment. In minutes I had an IV in, started getting pumped with fluids, the anesthesiologist came in to get consent, and the epidural was placed around 11:30. They gave me a combined spinal epidural for immediate onset since I was already 9 cm and time was of the essence. The only little glitch was that my blood pressure dropped to the 70s/30s, but I didn't feel it. My nurse just pumped me with more fluids (causing me later to have Fred Flintstone feet) and kept an eye on it, and it resolved pretty quickly. The nurse had to insert a foley catheter and also place us on a continuous fetal monitor, more things to add to the list of things that I never wanted during labor. But I did feel pretty immediate relief, which was refreshing. I was able to breathe and even rest a bit. I was instructed to take a nap, but there is no way that was going to happen. I mean, I'm about to have a baby. Nap? No way. My dad came in to see me, which I know he needed because he was worried. Brandon's parents came in too, as did Jon and Kelsey. I think everyone knew what a hard time we were having and knew things weren't going as planned, and they wanted to see for themselves that we were hanging in there. Everyone was so encouraging, I definitely needed that. I will never forget my dad hugging me while I was hooked up to an IV, an epidural, and monitors, and telling me that he was proud of me. I NEEDED that. As I was resting, I watched our little guy's heart rate on the monitor. I would see when a contraction was coming, and see his heart rate in response. He continued to have those normal labor decels, but also started having some late decelerations. Basically, another way of him telling us that he wasn't a fan of this ongoing labor. I was instructed to roll to my left side, let's see if that helps. It did for a little while, but not for long. Pretty shortly after, the nurse brought me oxygen. Here I am, again fighting inner feelings of "this is not what I signed up for." Stuck in bed on a monitor, being pumped full of IV fluids, an epidural in my back, a foley catheter in, restricted to my left side, and now a mask with oxygen on my face. Really? Oh, and did I mention they aren't letting me eat or drink? Ice chips only. Fears of them wheeling me to the OR for a C-section started to get all too real. Then there was another 'helpful' nurse who poked her head into our room, just 'making sure everything in here was okay.' I have been the nurse on the other side of the door, poking my head in. I know that's because someone is worried because of what they are seeing on the monitor at the nurses' station. After the door closed, I looked at our nurse and bluntly asked her what was wrong. She explained that Lucas was still having late decelerations and she was going to call the midwife to see where we were, because we needed this baby to come out. Nancy came in to check me, and praise Jesus I was 10cm and at a +2 station. Mom joked and said "don't sneeze!" when she heard how low the baby was at this point. So here we were, ready to push.

I pushed for a little while before the NICU team came and took their positions, waiting for Lucas to arrive. Brandon was at my head encouraging me, and mom and Farrin had my legs. Bless their hearts. Because of Lucas's heart rate, I was pushing while lying on my left side. It was awkward and again, not how I expected the delivery to go, but at this point I knew it was necessary for the safety of our baby. So we pushed. And pushed. And pushed! And then I heard Nancy say something that I never even thought of not wanting...she said to my mom, "she's going to tear. I think we need to do an episiotomy." Time out. What? The midwives have a 2% episiotomy rate. It's not standard anymore and people try to avoid them. I never ever even considered that this would be a possibility, now you're telling me I'm part of the 2%? Unbelievable. Well, she did it, it was unavoidable. So I continued to push with all of my might. The 'baby nurse' came in and it was a girl named Erin who I went to college with. I was so glad to see her because I know that she loves Jesus and is a great nurse and would take extra good care of my baby and even talk to the big Man upstairs about him. She encouraged me and said she had been keeping an eye on me from afar from out at the nurses' station. She also said she was proud of me for going through all of this. I continued to push with every ounce of energy in me. I gave it my everything, physically, mentally, spiritually. Finally, here comes his head. Brandon will tell you that this was the most memorable part of the delivery from him. Just his cute little head sticking out, eyes WIDE open looking around, already taking in the world. Brandon says he was 'parascoping.' Before we knew it, he was out, Nancy cut the cord, and off he went to the NICU team. He was only with them for a few minutes while he got deep suctioned and checked out, but it felt like an eternity waiting for him to cry. As soon as they were done, Erin brought him back over to me and as soon as he was in my arms, Brandon and I cried tears of joy. He was BEAUTIFUL and perfect, bright eyed and taking us all in. We stared at him and kissed on him and were left in awe of this little miracle we were holding.

This is what we had been waiting for. This is why we worked so hard. This is our lesson in patience. Not our ways, oh Lord, but Your ways. One week late, a crazy labor and delivery, all of my thoughts of how labor and deliver were going to be but weren't, it didn't matter. As I sit here typing this, looking at our sweet son who I know without a doubt is fearfully and wonderfully made, I know without a doubt in my mind that it was WORTH it.

Waiting for Lucas

When I think of how to put my thoughts of labor and childbirth down on paper, I instantly get overwhelmed. How do you express in words the gigantic range of emotions that you experience during this time? It's something that I want to put into words and share, mainly so I won't ever forget and also for all of you to get a sense of how Lucas came into this world. So here we go...

First of all, I will start by telling you that my due date was March 5th. Remember in my last post I told you that he arrived on March 12th. Do the math, that's a week LATE! That alone was enough to almost drive me crazy. Throughout my pregnancy I saw a group of fantastic midwives that work through UNC Hospitals. Before you form opinions on this, hear me out. I chose to see the midwives for a few reasons. First of all, I have always desired to have a natural childbirth. Working in the hospital myself, I see how sometimes the medical team fails us when we know what we want...when we have a 'plan' sometimes it's more complicated for the medical staff. Birthing with a midwife allows more personal control. They give options, like to have an IV or to not have an IV. To get up and move around. To EAT, amen? The list goes on and on. And this group of midwives deliver babies in the hospital. They aren't the stereotypical hippy midwives that come to your house and deliver your baby in a blow up swimming pool in your living room. So get that image out of your head :) This group of women are brilliant and expertly trained in childbirth and get to do so in a state-of-the-art hospital setting. This is the best of both worlds, knowing that my plan of a natural childbirth was supported and encouraged by the midwives, but also having an incredible OB and NICU team at our fingertips if anything went wrong. I have always respected the miracle of birth. To see a life enter the world in such an intricate way is amazing. To experience this as women have experienced it from the beginning of time is how I wanted it to be. This was our plan.

So back to the story. Leading up to my due date, I was never thinking that I would go overdue. At my 39 week appointment, I was 1cm and 50% effaced and pretty excited about it. Progress! But the conversation had to be started to cover the "what-ifs." What if you go over...we need to have this talk and discuss our level of comfort for how far over we would be okay going, and to pick a tentative date for induction if necessary. Helllloooo stress. Simply the word 'induction' made my skin crawl. It took a lot of courage and suppression of my anxiety to even talk about it, but we had to. Labor and delivery at UNC is a busy place, and heaven forbid we need to get this baby out and there is no room in the inn! So we picked a date...The evening of March 13th would be the date I would get admitted to start the process, and our baby would probably be born sometime on March 14th. Immediately my prayer and the prayer of many others was "please Lord, don't let me get to that point! Let this baby come out on his own!" So 39 weeks comes and goes uneventfully, I continue to work long and hard 12 hour shifts, having perfected the pregnant waddle by this point. Brandon and I walked and walked, and my parents got into town on March 1st with the expectation that this baby was going to come at any minute. From the minute my mom got into town, fresh after back surgery might I add, the two of us basically walked the pavement off of the Tobacco Trail that runs near our house. We would go on two walks a day, putting in about 5 miles of walking. The dog loved it, but between a gigantic pregnant lady and a lady post back surgery, we were quite the sight. The weekend before my due date rolls by and dad and Farrin go back home to wait for the phone call. March 5th comes and I go to an appointment with one of the midwives. We see Nancy, who to be honest was the midwife that I was least comfortable with to begin with. She's quiet and reserved, which aren't necessarily bad things, but compared to the bubbly personalities of the other midwives, we just didn't click as well. The exam showed I was 1.5cm and 90% effaced. Progress! She stripped my membranes with the hope of getting something started. My prayer was still, "please don't let me be induced. Let's do this." So we go home and we walk. And walk. And walk. And WALK. We literally saw the seasons change during our walks. We saw the trees go from sticks to flowers to leaves. We went from walking in toboggans and scarves to shorts and t-shirts. I get a prenatal massage, a pedicure, and even take black cohosh, which is a root in liquid form that tastes like straight up dirt. It's supposed to help bring on contractions. So I sucked it up and threw it back like shots, chasing it with everything from water to orange juice to sweet tea to diet coke. It was disgusting, but I was desperate. To make a long story not quite as long (as you can tell, I'm not good at telling short stories) I had some contractions and even a few false alarms. We had 2 nights of consistent contractions that I was sure was the real thing at the time, only for them to completely die down in the morning. To say I was frustrated is an understatement. As the week went on, my induction date was looming. To sum up my desperation, I will tell you that we bought a bottle of castor oil. If you don't know how that helps with labor, google it. I'll spare you the details here. I called the midwife on call to ask her opinion on this, and I came pretty close to taking it on the Friday the 9th. She advised me to wait until the day before I was scheduled to be induced, just to give my body more time to hopefully do something on it's own. I held out, hoping I wouldn't have to resort to this.

Fast forward to Saturday March 10th. It's nearing nighttime and here come the contractions again. I was excited! Here we go! Saturday night I was uncomfortable. I only slept for maybe an hour or two, and spent the rest of the night timing the contractions on an awesome app on my iPhone. I got up and sat in the glider in the nursery to wait out the contractions. They were coming every 6 to 10 minutes and were pretty uncomfortable. Sunday morning, everyone wakes up (Brandon, mom, dad, and Farrin. Dad and Farrin came back this weekend, too.) Everyone was so excited to see that I had been up all night with them! Brandon stayed home from church and by lunchtime, nothing. UGH. Really? False alarm again? You've got to be kidding me. The afternoon rolls on and I send Brandon to church for the Sunday night student event. He left the house a little before 4:00 p.m. I kid you not, he probably didn't make it out of the neighborhood before I started having contractions again. I said something to my mom and she just laughed. None of us wanted to get our hopes up....again. We went for a walk because that always stopped the contractions before. So we left for the walk and I noticed that these contractions were different. I had to stop walking and talking during them. We get back home and I decided to send Brandon a text message giving him a heads up, but I tell him to stay at church. No need to come home yet, but this is different. A few hours go by and things are kicking up. Brandon came home a little early and I was consistently contracting every 6 minutes or so by 8:00 p.m. I called the midwife on call at the hospital to give her a heads up and let her know that I wanted to labor at home for as long as possible. She was all for it and told me to keep her posted. So we labored at home, and it was beautiful. We had the lights down and music on. I had endless options of positions and support people and food and drinks. Sidenote, I was freezing during labor. I am embarassed to admit this, but we have a Snuggie and I wore it pretty much the entire time I was laboring at home. (The Snuggie was given to us as a joke, by the way, but it was AWESOME.) Anyway, I walked around the house and worked through contractions with Brandon, mom, dad, and Farrin by my side. When a contraction was coming, someone was there to hold onto me, rub my back, encourage me, and time the contraction. I moved from the couch to the recliner to the birth ball. We had a great team, I can't even tell you how vital every person was. Even the dogs where helping. Lexi and Oliver (Farrin's dog) were concerned about my discomfort and were ridiculously sweet.

At this point, these contractions were no joke. I felt them primarily in my back and my butt (sorry if that's T.M.I. but it's true.) They hurt like they had never hurt before and it was tough. I broke down and cried during one of them. I was disappointed in myself that I let myself give in like that and knew that I had to hold it together and work hard. They don't call it labor for nothing, right? We updated the midwife at midnight and since things were picking up she gave L&D a heads up for whenever I decided to come in. I sent Brandon, dad, and Farrin to take a nap because I was positive this was the real thing this time. During their power nap, mom and I continued to work through contractions. We layed down upstairs for a while and I fell asleep for about 4 minutes in between two contractions. When I quickly woke up as another contraction started, something was different. Mom looked at me and said, "Is this different?" I instantly said YES. She said, "Do we need to go?" Again, I instantly said YES. I was worried about how I was going to know when it was time to go to the hospital and my mom said over and over, "you will just know." As frustrated as I was with her answer, she was so right. I just knew, and this was it. She went and woke everyone up, we put the dogs in their crates and before I knew it we were in the car.

Okay. If you're still reading this, I'm impressed. I am going to save our hospital experience for the next post. Be forewarned, it might be a little detailed for some of you, but I think an experience as life changing and miraculous as childbirth deserves some details. So feel free to quit reading at any time, agreed?

Welcome!

Welcome! I wanted to start a blog to keep family and friends updated with all of the exciting news (and everyday things) that are going on here in the Hudson household. With family and close friends scattered, we want to share life with you as much as possible. This is new to me, so be patient as we figure this thing out! I'll do my very best to keep this updated with pictures, stories, and other cute things that are happening around here.

So for a quick update, our lives changed BIG time on March 12, 2012 as we welcomed our sweet son into this world. Lucas Taylor Hudson made his grand appearance at 3:17 p.m. weighing in at 8 lbs, 10 oz. WHOA. Hard to believe all that baby was in my belly, isn't it? He was born at UNC Hospitals, therefore I believe he will be a Tarheel for life no matter what his dad says. His arrival was a bit dramatic, more thoughts on that later. Since then, we have been adjusting to life with a newborn and couldn't be happier. We had tons of help in the beginning from my mom and dad, but today is our first day flying solo. So far so good.

We are so blessed to begin our own journey of parenthood. Thank you everyone for your prayers and encouragement, they are so needed and very appreciated. We love you!